Mastin, I feel totally understanding of your situation. Open hearted people are criticized a lot!
I too live with a very apparent vulnerability that I found has been polarizing to rooms of people. For every person who is ready to interact with someone who seems open minded, immediately concerned and caring, and who feels genuine admiration for just about anybody and this world (with all its faults)… I also meet people who are really turned off to me, they seem skeptical of me and second guess my intentions to be selfish ones.
I think my “skeptics” do have valid points of view, but the one great misconception is the one where I supposedly am attached to specific outcomes and “goals” with people. That’s really not the case. Life just flows through me and when it brings people into my little embankment, I become interested and enthusiastic. I am also willing to let them go back into the river! No worries!
I imagine that some of these situations might be the same for you?
Your sincerity and spark of enthusiasm being met with skepticism.
Your genuine love for people being met with a “what do you want from me?” attitude or a “what transaction is this, really?” or “what’s really going on?” sense of fear.
I find it strange that people question the sincerity of others when the reality is, everywhere I look, I see such earnest sincerity of people trying to lead their best lives.
Sincerity is abundant in the universe. Sometimes it comes with certain temporary conditions that can ring disingenuous, but it doesn’t mean nobody is trustworthy and the universe is a greedy place.
Although you seem mature and accepting of the feedback, for what it’s worth, I am still sending compassion to you.
You are trying to build something that will change the world and bring heaven to earth. As someone who feels similarly connected to the mission, I know that at times it’s so hard to feel so capable and called to the work when we get diverted, even for just a moment, by the fear state leaking in from everyone else’s junk. But you ARE called. This is your ministry.
The sad thing about the feedback you got was that this person is also hurting. He or she needs something to believe in, something true, and projected what that would look like: a serene spiritual leader who can make shifts in everyone with just a few words, who always knows exactly what to say to resonate with a large room of individuals, with uncanny abilities to transform the energy field. Someone who can talk about things without talking about themselves. Maybe that person is of a certain age. And living in Nepal.
…Of course, these are really self-sabotaging expectations. I have come across profound spiritual leaders who know nothing in a formal sense of philosophy, religion, mysticism, or even yoga. If that person who criticized you goes around making judgments, he or she may be blocking the miracle, not picking up the truth diamonds that shine when you are approaching situations freshly and receptively. You may not have perfectly resonated with him or her, but, you are a wonderful teacher regardless and that is easy to see.
Spiritual leaders are plentiful and they are those who are fired up and show up for life, eager to share, and celebrating this world’s tremendous beauty and pure potential. It’s not always going to be that old wise man under the tree.
We have to realize that the wise man under the tree and the young man in the conference hall come from the same source, and both are beautiful manifestations of the singular purpose of bringing love into the world.
We need both, because some people will go to the sycamore grove searching for a connection and some will go to a convention hall.
But even, for example, a really openhearted teenager can possess great wisdom to rival that of anyone living in a monastery – because of the true SOURCE! We all are messengers!
Keep doing you boo boo! :)
In response to: Are you willing to pay THIS price for your dreams?